5. DO NOT ASK ABOUT OUR SURGERIES.Our body is none of your business, and vise versa. I’m not going to ask you about the pins that you had to put in your knee from that basketball injury you had in college, so you are NOT to ask me if my boobs are hormone grown or implants. Plain and simple.6. DO ASK ABOUT OUR HOBBIES, THAT SPECIAL QUIRK THAT MAKES OUR SOUL HAPPY.I love to bar hop with my friends, chill outdoors, brunch all day and decorate my house. I could talk about those things for days!. Two weeks ago we had a doozy of a fight. It was so loud the neighbors came out on their porch to see if someone was being killed. But we never physically attack each other.For the next week I slept on the couch, and the only words we exchanged were the necessaries regarding meals, schedule, etc.I should probably say that my wife Jill is hot. In her mid-30's, she is blonde, slim with small breasts and has tight muscles from doing yoga.The next Saturday night we were invited to a neighbor's. The women begin to discuss and eventually walk towards us the only problem at this point was i had 10 pounds where as my friend had nothing so we had to do some hustling. As the women approached we got a clear sight of them, one was short, fat, mixed raced with bleach blonde very short hair wearing a jean jacket and a little jean skirt. Because i was the only one paying i definitely wasnt having that girl. The other girl on the other hand was around 25 nice natural height and weight, long wavy. They all reached out to me, arms wanting to hold, to have, to be taken. Behind them, the darkness stirred. Everything smelled like vanilla. Blueberries. Blueberry muffins. I awoke smelling blueberry muffins. I didn’t remember baking them, but I did bake them from time to time. Running water. The shower. Humming? The last few were not unusual, were I the one in the shower. The blanket hit the floor with a ‘Thufffft’. I reached for a weapon to protect myself from whoever was baking muffins and.
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